Noah Can’t Even by Simon James Green



“You know what I would do? What I did? Don’t try to label it. Don’t even think about what it is. Just enjoy the moment. And remember that no moment is for ever. And other moments come along. And sometimes they’re even better. Sometimes they’re worse. But don’t fret about it. People always like to talk, but ask yourself: in the grand scheme of things, in the total insignificance of our tiny lives in this massive universe, who gives a shit?”

Title: Noah Can’t Even
Author: Simon James Green
Series: Noah Can’t Even #1
Number of pages: 320 (kindle edition)
Good things about this book: It’s super funny and so absurd it’s hilarious
Bad things about this book: It’s quite over the top but you get used to it so it’s not really bad.
Do I recommend it? Yes, the sequel comes out in June so hurry up.
Rate: 5/5

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

At first I was expecting a love story, a coming out story with weird feelings and an obvious happy ending, maybe a tad sappy, so I was frustrated and mad when all Noah did was freak out and ramble. Then, though, I understood that this story was really about him and his hilariously weird life and his passion for Agatha Christie and mysteries and it all made sense and I loved all the randomness!

Noah is a hilarious almost 16-year-old boy obsessed with good grammar, against American slang in British English, an overall good boy, super geeky and awkward beyond measure. His only friend, Harry, kissed him at a party telling him he’s gay and has feelings for him and from that day his already chaotic life becomes even more chaotic. It’s one freak out after the other, one stupid mistake after stupid mistake, bad decisions galore, and mysteries that’d turn everyone into a detective.

“I don’t need sex to validate who I am as a person.”
“Where did you get that line from?”
“From me.”
“It’s from my OK! Magazine, isn’t it?”
“No.” It totally was.

Being the way he is (read: adorably weird), Noah is often bullied. It doesn’t help that his mum is a Beyoncé impersonator, doesn’t hide it from the little town they live in, and is dating a mysterious guy. Noah can’t catch a break. He just can’t live a normal life, but maybe a normal life isn’t worth living if it means losing the people you care about the most, right?

If you go into this book thinking this will be the story of how Noah and Harry fall in love, sadly you’ll be disappointed. This is the story of Noah, of his life, of the revelations that’ll bring him to stop caring about what people think about him because in the end it doesn’t matter. This is the story of Noah finding out secrets about his past, about the father that abandoned him and his mother when he was little. This is a story about Noah trying to fit in with the cool guys and realizing he will never have anything in common with them. This is a story of how beautifully naïve Noah will find out what it’s the most important thing of all. To be true to yourself and if the world has a problem with it, then it can go to hell and stay there.

Everyone gets a moment. A moment when everything, everything, is just right. When they are the ones having the best time in the whole world. And this was his. This was theirs. Because this was where he wanted to be. This was who he wanted to be with. This was his life. And starting now, he was going to live it.

I loved it. I was angry with Noah at times but that made me love him more; it took time for him to come to terms with the reality of his mistakes but in the end he saw the light at the end of the tunnel. He was so random and hilarious and I wanted to hug him every single time he corrected people for using American slang or incorrect grammar. I just loved how he told what was on his mind without thinking of the consequences because, in his opinion, those were really important matters that needed to be discussed. He was slower to understand the truth about his feelings for Harry but I can understand why he was having a hard time. It took a lot and he had a lot going on so I can’t be 100% mad at him. I was pretty mad, though; he made some pretty dumb decisions.

You shouldn’t wait for tomorrow to do the things you want. You shouldn’t wait for tomorrow to tell the people who matter to you how you feel about them. There’s no guarantee you’ll get that chance again.

I think you’ll love Noah if you love random people who are awkward but very passionate about the weird things that make them peculiar. I’m often called weird but that doesn’t stop me from telling everyone willing to listen about what I love. Let’s all be like Noah, but maybe without the ability to attract catastrophes. I can live without those, thank you very much.


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