Noah Could Never by Simon James Green

20180608_234434

5stars

“There is no one better, Noah. No one will ever be like you. There is only different. And in the future, everything is different. So you can choose to live in the anxious misery of what might be, or you can choose the glorious comfort of the here and now. I would pick the now. Tomorrow could be anything.”

Title: Noah Could Never
Author: Simon James Green
Series: Noah Can’t Even #2

Number of pages: 403 (paperback edition)
Good things about this book: It’s hilarious and you can’t help to keep loving Noah.
Bad things about this book: The only bad thing is that I can’t seem to have enough of Noah so that’s my only complain, I wanted a bible-long book about him.
Do I recommend it? OMG OF COURSE YES DO IT!
Rate: 5/5

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

Was this as good as it was going to get? After sixteen, was it basically a steady decline towards arthritis, mobility scooters and the grave? Sodding hell.

I love Noah to pieces and I love how twisted and random his little brain is. What I don’t love is how mess somehow mixes in his everyday life; my boy can’t catch a break. Between freaking out about taking his relationship with Harry to the next level, the French exchange students, a drag queen on the run, a car following his every move, and his half-brother being shady as hell, Noah really doesn’t know how not to lose his mind. And he barely succeeds in not doing so.

This book is the usual hilarious rollercoaster, one hell of an adventure. It messed up with my feelings. I felt so much for Noah and how his overthinking was going to ruin everything good he had going on in his life. The feelings were really strong. I was happy, then mad, then worried (so much worried), then I cried a bit, worried a little more, then I finished the book and exhaled a long sigh of relief.

“I meant what I said. Let’s not be interested in the rest of the world when we’re each other’s worlds.”

Noah and Harry have been boyfriends for two months; they’ve been kissing like crazy, but Noah is scared to take things to a sexier level. He thinks there is something wrong with him because he is a teenager, so he should be thinking about sex at all times, and he isn’t. He is just too worried about what this means, about what that can changed the perception Harry has of himself. He doesn’t think he is enough for Harry; he is not manly enough, he hasn’t got abs, he worries about the most random things, and his life has so much going on that it’s a miracle Harry found Noah interesting in the first place.

Sometimes, having something really nice in your life was worse than not having it, because it made you worries you were going to lose it. And losing something is worse when you know just how wonderful that thing is.

I knew that Noah’s insecurities were going to bring problems to his relationship. I worried so much about their happiness you’ll think they were my best friends. Noah overthinks and by overthinking he makes one mistake after the other. I was on edge all the time; I was on edge even as I was laughing my butt off at the hilarity of the situations Noah finds himself involved.

This might be London, and it might all be very hip, but they’d forgotten about the one thing that was always en vogue: good grammar.

I love Noah so much: his quirks and love for things done the right way! He always tries his best even when life seems to be doing everything to throw things in his way. He might think he is very unlucky in a lot of things, but he doesn’t see just how lucky he actually is, how many people are on his side and love him just the way he is.

“When you next see me I will have thwarted a criminal endeavour and been to London. I will be a changed person. Take a long hard look at the boy, for he will return a man.”

I can’t write how many things are going on at the same time because, trust me, there are a lot of things going on in this book. I guess you just need to read it and find out!

firmablog

Advertisements

A Wish Upon the Stars by T.J. Klune ☆

20180331_154519

5starsplus

We turn to you, the boy we lost, your body now littered with scars. We know what your bravery cost, and for you we wish upon these stars.

Title: A Wish Upon the Stars
Author: T.J. Klune
Series: Tales From Verania #4
Number of pages: 450 (kindle edition)
Good things about this book: Everything. I’m telling you, EVERYTHING.
Bad things about this book: Nothing. It was hard to say goodbye but it also feels good.
Do I recommend it? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Rate: 5+++/5
☆: It made my “favourite books” list

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

BEWARE! This review will contain spoilers of the previous books and spoilers of this book because I must say things and the things I must say are spoilery.

This book deserves more than 5 stars and this series deserves at least a million stars. AT LEAST! I’ll say maybe 2 billion stars, maybe more. I have loved everything about it, everything: frustration and all. I have not loved a series as much as I’ve loved this one. Sure, you know how easily I give 5 stars to books but maybe it is because I read books I know I will like so the probability of a full star review is pretty high. I seem to know how to avoid books that make me mad but, alas, I have read a few that I wish I could forget completely but still haunt my everyday life. You know who you are, books, you know it and you should be ashamed of yourselves!

“How are you still alive?” Dimitri asked me.
“Sheer force of will,” I said cheerfully.

A Wish Upon the Stars is the fourth and last book of the Tales from Verania saga. I have read four magnificent books about a boy who happens to be a wizard apprentice and who, apparently, doesn’t know when to shut up. The things Sam says are things of beauty and perversion. Maybe more of perversion if I’m being honest and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sam is a magical boy with feelings and so much love to give. Sam is also a very sexual being and he will make sure you don’t have any doubts about it. I have read things that had made me gasp, laugh, cringe and also made me horny. Sam and I, we are alike. The only difference is that he has a hunk of a boyfriend while me, well, I’m single and the world has decided I will remain that way until the day I die.

The third book ended on a very sad note; Morgan was murdered and Ryan was badly hurt. Our Sam made the only decision he thought was right so he ran away to the Dark Woods to join the Great White and the other dragons to train. Eleven, I repeat, eleven months later he resurfaces from his “training camp”, disheveled and with bushy eyebrows, more powerful than ever, now a wizard, and more scared of facing the ones he left behind that the super villain who wants to consume him and kill them all.

“I promise you, when I was in the woods, looking up at the stars, there is nothing I wished for more than you.”

I was scared, too. San ran away leaving only letters not really explaining where he was going or for how long. Gary and Tiggy were super mad, Sam’s parents grounded him for eternity, Justin was uncharacteristically huggy, and Ryan was furious for very valid reasons. I would also be super mad if the love of my life went away who knows where for who knows how long telling me to wait patiently. How dare he leave me? That’s not okay. Luckily, Sam returned with more magic and Ryan has a kink for magic so things resolved quite quickly and quite steamily. I saw a side of Ryan I liked, a new side of him I like because I already liked him a lot.

“Lady Tina,” I said. “How unfortunate that you didn’t pass beyond the veil overnight. I expected more from you.”

Sam feels a bit left out in this new dynamic, having been almost a year away while the world kept going without him. Two of his arch-nemesis are now all lovey-dovey with his friends. Lady Tina DeSilva is second in command to Ryan and Sam hates it. I would hate it, too. She was the bane of his existence for the last books. Okay, she repented, had a change of heart, etc etc. But she did unnecessary things. I wouldn’t forget and forgive that easily.

“I had a vision you would say that,” Vadoma said, the bangles on her wrists knocking together. “I have many visions about everything you say. None of them are good.”

Then we have Vadoma, the one who put Ruv in our Sam’s way, maybe also contributing to the fall of Morgan. Yeah, she was sort of bewitched by Ruv, but still, she was rude and that’s not okay. You don’t get to be rude to Sam because he’s precious and needs protection.

“There were spiders when Dad showed me the first time,” he mumbled. “I don’t like spiders.”
“Ah,” I said wisely. “It’s a good thing you’ve got us, then, eh? And by us, I mean Ryan, because I also don’t like spiders, so he can go first and scare them all away and make sure we don’t get bitten and die.”

The book has one main mission and two side missions. The one super important mission is to use the dragons to kill Myrin, of course. The two side missions are to retrieve Gary’s horn and to save the King from the Castle’s dungeons where he’s kept captive. They do get the horn after saving the King and they meet Randall again, and guess what, he had the horn and the story of how he tracked is something else. Randall is a phenomenal character and I love him and his old hairy face! The “ceremony” of reattaching Gary’s horn is one I will never forget. I keep picturing Sam bad touching the horn while it leaked rainbow fluid, and then putting it on Gary and Gary sort of evolving, all majestic and posing and with his ego so much bigger than before you didn’t think it could be possible.

“Gary Matthias Pontificus Esmerelda Juanita Lopez Alabaster Kennedy the Fourth!”

Gary’s full name. I’m so glad we know it now!

I haven’t found the kind of comedy T.J. Klune writes with any other author. It’s overwhelming. I think you love it or you hate it, there’s no in-between. I love it with all my heart. He mixes hilarious moments with moments full of sentiment capable of breaking your heart and, trust me, your heart will certainly break. Mine broke so many times since book 1. I’ve lost count. He plays with your feelings but you hang in there because he is so clever, he knows it, and he’ll do the story justice and you won’t be mad at him (so much). He knows he’ll make you hate him a little bit and I know he grins evilly when no one is watching because he knows all will be forgiven by the end of the books. You magnificent manipulator! You have a special place in my heart.

“He reminds me of you,” he told Randall. “Stubborn. Indignant. Mouthy. He speaks before he thinks and is more likely to ignore my orders than to actually follow them.”
I would have objected, but that was pretty much all true.

I’m realizing I didn’t spoil much of the book so now I’m going to list my favourite parts so this will become a real spoilerful review:

1- Sam promising himself that he’ll find a boyfriend for Justin and us maybe getting in the future a book from Justin’s pov with his own romantic adventures
2- Ryan proposing like the cheesy boy he truly is and being all heart-eyes for Sam even when he was angry with him. But of course you can’t stay angry with Sam; have you look at him? He’s adorable.
3- Sam wooing the guards promising slutty things was beautiful and so cringe worthy I’m still thinking about how slutty he truly is. And I’m loving it. I loved every second of that scene. And I loved how jealous Ryan got because his man is loved by many. Too many!
4- Sam using the ability to change his and other people’s appearances to make Lady Tina the ugliest man in existence. It was hilarious! And he made Justin bald. Sam, why are you doing this to me? Tears, I had tears rolling down my face it was almost poetic.
5- Randall asking a little too many times if someone had a reason for Sam and Ryan not to get married got me laughing hard. Randall is precious and his story with Myrin was so sad; he deserved to be loved more, to be chosen over power, not to be left behind. Myrin, you suck.
6- Terry, Gary’s twin brother wanting Ryan to “ride him”, if you know what I mean!!
7- Morgan of Shadows. Morgan of freaking Shadows to complete the happy ending we truly deserved. We suffered so much and that was our reward.

With this list, this long and probably incomprehensible review gets to an end just like this series. I’m sad, of course, but I’m also happy because I don’t have to wonder if they’re okay and happy. I know they are. They will have bad days, they will have to face adversities, probably random kidnappings, but they will be victorious. They have each other, they have love and they are loved. There’s really nothing that puts a bigger smile on my face than seeing all of them, Sam, Ryan, Gary, Tiggy, Justin, Morgan, Randall, Sam’s parents, the King, be as happier as they can be in a world that wanted to put a destiny set in stone in their way. But stone crumbles, right? It sure did. Stone crumbled and if it didn’t, I was ready to magically teleport myself inside the book and punch it until it did. I was going to get my happy ending one way or the other.

“I’m in control of my own destiny. My path may have been set in stone, but stone crumbles, and sometimes we have to forge our own way through.”

Farewell Verania. You’ll be missed, and if we’re going to meet again I hope it’s not very far in the future. I can wait, though, because I know it’ll be worth it.

firmablog

Noah Can’t Even by Simon James Green

20180327_141134

5stars

“You know what I would do? What I did? Don’t try to label it. Don’t even think about what it is. Just enjoy the moment. And remember that no moment is for ever. And other moments come along. And sometimes they’re even better. Sometimes they’re worse. But don’t fret about it. People always like to talk, but ask yourself: in the grand scheme of things, in the total insignificance of our tiny lives in this massive universe, who gives a shit?”

Title: Noah Can’t Even
Author: Simon James Green
Series: Noah Can’t Even #1
Number of pages: 320 (kindle edition)
Good things about this book: It’s super funny and so absurd it’s hilarious
Bad things about this book: It’s quite over the top but you get used to it so it’s not really bad.
Do I recommend it? Yes, the sequel comes out in June so hurry up.
Rate: 5/5

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

At first I was expecting a love story, a coming out story with weird feelings and an obvious happy ending, maybe a tad sappy, so I was frustrated and mad when all Noah did was freak out and ramble. Then, though, I understood that this story was really about him and his hilariously weird life and his passion for Agatha Christie and mysteries and it all made sense and I loved all the randomness!

Noah is a hilarious almost 16-year-old boy obsessed with good grammar, against American slang in British English, an overall good boy, super geeky and awkward beyond measure. His only friend, Harry, kissed him at a party telling him he’s gay and has feelings for him and from that day his already chaotic life becomes even more chaotic. It’s one freak out after the other, one stupid mistake after stupid mistake, bad decisions galore, and mysteries that’d turn everyone into a detective.

“I don’t need sex to validate who I am as a person.”
“Where did you get that line from?”
“From me.”
“It’s from my OK! Magazine, isn’t it?”
“No.” It totally was.

Being the way he is (read: adorably weird), Noah is often bullied. It doesn’t help that his mum is a Beyoncé impersonator, doesn’t hide it from the little town they live in, and is dating a mysterious guy. Noah can’t catch a break. He just can’t live a normal life, but maybe a normal life isn’t worth living if it means losing the people you care about the most, right?

If you go into this book thinking this will be the story of how Noah and Harry fall in love, sadly you’ll be disappointed. This is the story of Noah, of his life, of the revelations that’ll bring him to stop caring about what people think about him because in the end it doesn’t matter. This is the story of Noah finding out secrets about his past, about the father that abandoned him and his mother when he was little. This is a story about Noah trying to fit in with the cool guys and realizing he will never have anything in common with them. This is a story of how beautifully naïve Noah will find out what it’s the most important thing of all. To be true to yourself and if the world has a problem with it, then it can go to hell and stay there.

Everyone gets a moment. A moment when everything, everything, is just right. When they are the ones having the best time in the whole world. And this was his. This was theirs. Because this was where he wanted to be. This was who he wanted to be with. This was his life. And starting now, he was going to live it.

I loved it. I was angry with Noah at times but that made me love him more; it took time for him to come to terms with the reality of his mistakes but in the end he saw the light at the end of the tunnel. He was so random and hilarious and I wanted to hug him every single time he corrected people for using American slang or incorrect grammar. I just loved how he told what was on his mind without thinking of the consequences because, in his opinion, those were really important matters that needed to be discussed. He was slower to understand the truth about his feelings for Harry but I can understand why he was having a hard time. It took a lot and he had a lot going on so I can’t be 100% mad at him. I was pretty mad, though; he made some pretty dumb decisions.

You shouldn’t wait for tomorrow to do the things you want. You shouldn’t wait for tomorrow to tell the people who matter to you how you feel about them. There’s no guarantee you’ll get that chance again.

I think you’ll love Noah if you love random people who are awkward but very passionate about the weird things that make them peculiar. I’m often called weird but that doesn’t stop me from telling everyone willing to listen about what I love. Let’s all be like Noah, but maybe without the ability to attract catastrophes. I can live without those, thank you very much.

firmablog

Brooding YA Hero: Becoming a Main Character (Almost) as Awesome as Me by Carrie DiRisio & illustrated by Linnea Gear

20171124_153253

3stars

When in doubt, lean and smirk.

Title: Brooding YA Hero: Becoming a Main Character (Almost) as Awesome as Me
Author: Carrie DiRisio (Author) & Linnea Gear (Illustrator)
Number of pages: 288 (hardcover edition)
Good things about this book: It’s a fun and light read.
Bad things about this book: I think the content was best suited for a novella not an over 200 pages book.
Do I recommend it? Maybe not but I’ll tell you to give it a chance if you want to read it but are unsure.
Rate: 3/5

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

I bought this book based solely on the cover. I found it cute and the title was funny. I didn’t know what it was about. I found out when I got the book and opened it to see how it was inside, a thing I do for every single book I buy; you’ve got to calculate time of reading based on font size, margins, and number of pages, right?

I wasn’t entirely disappointed but I was hoping in something different. I thought I was getting a simple story about a clichéd YA hero doing cliché stuff while instead I got a guide of how to become a clichéd main character of a young-adult book. It was fun to read, I giggled quite a lot because I recognized so many clichés overly used.

I’m stern, serious, and incredibly muscular. I’ll probably be in charge of training you to be a better warrior, which I will do shirtless.

Broody is the perfect excessively described guy with chiseled jaw, marbled abs, jeweled-colored eyes, tousled hair, and smirk that makes you swoon. He’s usually the guy that gets the love interest almost at first sight no matter his personality and obvious flaws. Times are changing, though, and Authors want someone different to be their main characters; more and more books have multiple povs and more characters are a little closer to how real people look like and behave. Of course there are people with Broody’s exact qualities in the real world, but let’s be real, it’s very probable there are not.

You will probably find out that you are the absolutely most special of all the special supernatural beings. However, your internal narration will still remind us every page or so about how average you are. Sadly, self-esteem is not one of the magical powers you’ll ever acquire.

It was a nice book to read, light and easy. The kind of book you need to take a break from reading without really avoiding reading. When you finish a book that consumed you, left you empty blankly staring at the world, you need something to keep you going, something to keep you from the dreaded reading slump. I knew I needed it. Reading is wonderful but it can fill your head with many thoughts, too many sometimes, and all you need is a break. I did want to read so this was the perfect choice.

If you find yourself in a situation similar to mine, then this book might be for you.

My Author has decided I am a Scorpio. This is because Scorpios are the perfect fit for any broody hero: passionate, deadly, and totally overused in fiction.

Yay for Scorpios, by the way. We are great!

firmablog

A Destiny of Dragons by T.J. Klune ☆

20170703_140940

5starsplus

I was Sam of Wilds. And I was going to face my godsdamned destiny.

Title: A Destiny of Dragons (Tales From Verania #2)
Author: T.J. Klune
Good things about this book: Sam, the gang and DRAGONS!
Bad things about this book: Not enough Justin. I like the guy.
Do I recommend it? Yes, 500%.
Rate: 5+++/5
☆: It made my “favourite books” list

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

*A very quote-y review that may contain spoilers of the first book of the series. *

He did it again. Damned you, Mr. Klune, you don’t seem to be able to stop. You’re giving me feelings I didn’t know I needed. Oh my, if I needed them. Some more than others. Maybe I didn’t really need the excruciating fear of very possible loss and heartbreak but I decided to trust you; don’t you dare disappoint an innocent and bright soul like mine, it brings back very bad karma. You’ve been warned.

“You gotta trust me. I know what I’m doing.”
He frowned. “I trust you, Sam. But you never know what you’re doing.”

The more I think about this book, and its predecessor for that matter, the more I love its detailed descriptions, its funny and real characters, and its originality. There are not books like these ones. This series has everything I look for in books: magic, a main character you can’t hate even when he’s clearly being dumb, love in every shape, side characters that bring laughter and sunshine and rainbows, villains that made you fear for everyone’s life or that you simply want to slap real hard, very vague prophecies, and dragons. It has dragons. I love dragons.

“Holy shit,” Ryan said, sounding breathless. “You have a Destiny of Dragons!”

Sam has a destiny of dragons and it’s going to be a pain in the butt. I already know I’m going to suffer, that I’m going to have hope that’s going to be crushed by the cruelty of Mr. Klune if he decides to be mean and do something he is not supposed to do. I love my babies, I don’t want harm to come to them. I will do everything in my power, send positive vibes and everything, maybe light some candles, to avoid being heartbroken by the following books of this series.

“Sam is pretty good sometimes at what he does occasionally!”

^^Me, too!

Sam’s grandma, the queen of gypsies, makes a surprise visit to the castle to deliver bad news, prophecies made by constellation dragons, a new cornerstone for him, and ugly vibes. Woman, you don’t mess with Sam and Ryan’s relationship and expect to be loved by the crowd. I don’t like Vadoma; I didn’t like when she first appeared and showed weird visions to Sam, and I didn’t like her by the end of the book with her manipulations and refusal to acknowledge that, for Sam, Ryan is not only a cornerstone but also so much more. I hated how she kept saying she has never told Sam a lie, unlike others: well, of course you have not, you’ve been in his life for how long, one month? Easy for her to say that and it infuriated me so much.

“Oh, no. No, no, no. I’m onto you, exotic twink. Don’t think that I’m not.”

Ruv, the cornerstone Vadoma wants to forcefully pair with Sam, is not a bad guy; he’s being raised knowing he was going to be the other half of Sam, he doesn’t know what to do with himself now that he sees he cannot be that because of Ryan. Sam’s magic reacts to Ruv’s vicinity but what Sam has with Ryan is not something you can replace easily. I didn’t trust Ruv at the beginning, and maybe I never did in the end, but I understand him and what he’s been through, the obligations he feels he needs to follow, the responsibilities that are put upon his shoulders. I don’t blame Ruv, I don’t hate the guy, but you mess with HaveHeart and you have a new enemy in me.

“You’re the most powerful wizard in an age. I’m your cornerstone. Therefore I’m the most powerful cornerstone in an age. It’s my destiny, after all.”

Looking for the dragons to fulfill his destiny will bring Sam and company to face new enemies and new fears. The journey will be long and tortuous, there may be loss, their bodies will be at risk and their souls will waver. Sam, Ryan, Gary, Tiggy, and Kevin have each other and their bond is strong. They won’t give up easily. They have to fight for themselves and for each other. Sam needs to share the weight of his destiny or else he’ll be lost without a back up plan and with no coming back option. Sam, I beg you, open up to Ryan, to the friends you love, it’s the right thing to do.

I wanted to do what was right. I didn’t know how to do that.

The Lightning-Struck Heart was all fluff, sass, puns, a little heartbreak, and so so much love; A Destiny of Dragons is darker, more serious, and nerve-wracking; it still has all the fluff, love and sass the first one had but you won’t feel save. I didn’t. I felt like anything that could go wrong, would go wrong with nefarious results. I was never 100% sure things were going to be okay. The premises kept me from abandoning myself to the romance and comedy of the story, I felt the darkness lurking in the shadows and I didn’t relax. I couldn’t and I won’t until I read the last word of the last book.

We are better together than we ever will be apart. We are bound to each other. And nothing, nothing, will change that.

I love this book, everything about it. It gave me all the feelings, all of them. I love how cheesy Sam and Ryan are, all their kisses, double-entendre, sexy times, jokes, the softness of their love, the strength of their bond, and the absolute certainty that they won’t allow anything bad happen to one another. I want to protect them; they deserve the happiest of endings.

“And he’s blinking and looks all soft and beautiful and then he sees you and he smiles. Like all it takes for him to be the happiest he’s ever been is to see you there. Next to him. That’s… that’s what’s so great about it. That’s what it feels like.”

(Oh, my heart! I want this, Sam, I want what you and Ryan have)

I love Gary and his sassiness and I love how he is all jokes until someone wants to hurt his friends, and then he transforms into a killing machine all glares and murderous glitter! Tiggy speaks so much more allowing us to understand more about him, about the past he doesn’t want to talk about; Tiggy is all business and cuddles and I love him. A prophecy about a destiny involving dragons couldn’t make Kevin more self-centered than he already is. He is hilarious with his Shakespearian speeches and his perverted ways that make everyone feel uncomfortable. Kevin is not the only dragon around but he certainly is one of a kind.

“Sam got kissy face,” Tiggy whispered to Gary.
“Of course he does, kitten,” Gary said. “That’s what happens when you’re a slut.”

November is the month of my birthday and it’s the month the third book is going to be released. Mr. Klune, damned him, twitted saying to prepare tissues and then the tweet disappeared: does that mean tissues won’t be necessary or that I have to be prepared to lose a part of my soul? I know I won’t be ready (how can I?) but I can’t wait nonetheless.

Recommended to all. How can you not read these books? They’re great and T.J. Klune is an evil genius full of sass. 5+++ out of 5.

“My plan is to wing it.”
Ryan sighed. “Godsdammit.”

^^Perfect summary of the book

firmablog

Until You by T.J. Klune

DSC05054-1

5stars

“It’s the gay love story of the ages. Boy meets boy, boy hits boy with his car, boy and boy get married.”

Title: Until You
Author: T.J. Klune
Good things about this book: It is perfect!
Bad things about this book: Too short and you will miss the characters.
Do I recommend it? Yes, it’s the conclusion of the perfect trilogy.
Rate: 5/5

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

The perfect wedding for the perfect couple in the perfect conclusion to the perfect book series. I’m just so happy I decided to read it. I knew I was going to do it but the covers were keeping me from doing it. I thank rebel me for going against rational and aesthetic me. I will be forever thankful. Also T.J. Klune, oh my, that man writes books I enjoy from the bottom of my heart. I have never laughed so much reading books like I do when I read something by Mr. Klune.

This book is shorter, at least by a half, than the two prequels, it doesn’t have drama, it’s hilarious, it has all the characters you love, it will make you cry, and it will make you desire a love like Paul and Vince’s. They are so perfect for each other it hurts and it’s a little bit gross; they are really cheesy. And domestic. They have a domestic kink and it’s hilarious.

“You don’t have a gun,” Sandy said, rolling his eyes.
“Vince bought a nail gun,” I said. “We’re tool owners because we’re men and we do construction projects on stuff.”

Darren and Sandy are as flirty and in love as ever. They fight all the time just to start eating their faces off soon after that. Aw, the romance! Corey/Kori has a little crush and I just want to know if their story is going to be told in the future, near future if possible. Daddy Charlie has found love in a very weird place and he’s blushing and he’s so nervous it’s adorable. The family is still the best family in the whole world: isn’t Nana the best? The answer is and always will be yes.

“What’s gay-guy stuff?” Vince asked before I could stop him.
“Oh,” Nana said. “You know. Living happily. Having nice taste. Keeping a clean home. Being successful and kind. Hosting classy dinner parties with watercress sandwiches and dry martinis. Living and laughing and loving each other.”
“Aw, Nana,” I said, surprised.
“Also butt stuff,” Nana said. “Lots and lots of butt stuff.”
“And there it is,” I said.

The wedding is upon them and they are finishing the last things before the big day. The bachelor party is one the one event that will be remembered for generations. Oh boy, Sexy Paul dancing his gay anthem? Epic! That party was source of so many tears from too much laughing. I certainly didn’t see that coming. This morning I sang Paul’s anthem at work like there’s no tomorrow. That album was also part of my generation; I could relate.

Our guests gasped again, like the drama queens they were. They acted like they’d never been to a gay wedding before where one groom launched himself at the other groom. Amateurs.

There were also happy tears during the wedding vows. I knew I was going to cry because love makes me cry. I’m a romantic. Those words hit me right in my heart and they made me so happy. They felt true and perfect and they described Paul and Vince’s love story fully. I just love those two and I will miss them so much.

“They can see you, they can see the sarcasm. They can see your sass. But I don’t think they can see your heart, your perfect, fierce heart like I can.”

Do I have a hole inside me now that this series is over? Yes, I do. Am I sad? Completely. Will I start making choices asking myself first “what would Paul/Sandy do”? Probably.
They changed me. I feel better now that I got to know them. Fictional BFFs confirmed!

I would rather have melted cheese in my mouth than a smaller waist any day of the week.

Yes, Paul, I totally agree with you!

firmablog

The Queen & the Homo Jock King by T.J. Klune

IMG-20170326-WA0010

5stars

“Thin line between love and hate and blah, blah, blah.”

Title: The Queen & the Homo Jock King
Author: T.J. Klune
Good things about this book: It is adorable and everyone is lovely. Also BRITNEY!
Bad things about this book: Nothing.
Do I recommend it? Yes, everyone should read it.
Rate: 5/5

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

Don’t ever let a book cover decide its readability! Never! Well, read the summary first, also see the ratings and maybe read one or two non-spoilery reviews, but NO, don’t refuse to give a book a chance because its cover is, I’ll just say it, kind of ugly. I have found myself in love with books with questioning covers and my reading life has been better ever since.

In the first book of this wonderful series Paul was the main character, Sandy the sidekick bff and Vince the love interest. In this equally wonderful sequel, Sandy is the main character, the sidekicks are just so many and Darren, the Homo Jock King is the love interest. Not just any love interest but Sandy’s all time nemesis.

“He was going to convince Darren to dress like Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys for Halloween.”
“My greatest weakness,” I breathed.

We finally find out why Sandy hates Darren so much and how much of that hate it’s only the sexual tension everyone seems to have noticed. We see a lot of Sandy but also a lot of Helena, his drag queen alter ego and it is glorious. Helena says whatever she wants to say. She is bitchy, sassy and purrs quite a lot. Sandy and Helena might share the same body but they’re definitely not the same person even if Helena likes to come out to play often when Sandy is around.

“This is totally what happened. You just aren’t remembering right. Probably one too many hits on the head from when you were playing Ultimate Frisbee or whatever it is homo jocks do when they congregate.”

Sandy think of Darren as his enemy for reasons we now know and their bickering, more like mating ritual, is a thing of beauty. Sandy insulting Darren about him being a stereotypical jock with a twink obsession and giving his friends the most random fake names (Xerxes???) is something I will put in a special drawer inside my brain to take out when I’m feeling sad. I was as surprised as Sandy to see how much cuddly and adorable Darren was underneath all those layers of chest hair and muscles. Behind that smirk there is a New Kids on the Block fanboy and a ninja turtle husband and that makes him a keeper.

“As you can see,” I said into the microphone, “Darren’s loneliness is killing him.”
“No it’s not!” he said, loud enough for the microphone to pick it up.
“And he must confess that he still believes.”

I have 4 pages of quotes of this book. FOUR. This book has the kind of humour I love: I haven’t laughed this much for any other author ever. I can picture this book perfectly as a movie; you don’t even have to adapt it, it’s perfect just the way it is. Chapter after chapter the story takes shape inside your head and the characters become part of your soul. I love each one of them, even Santiago the slutty waiter. Each character is deep, real, and relatable; it could be you, it could be me, it could be your neighbor. Well, not MY neighbor, the hipster singer/pianist wannabe who likes to go out shoeless and shirtless with a guitar because, his words not mine, “people deserve to hear my music and be happy”. No, dear, nobody is happy with your music and your kid, poor soul, cries almost every time you start singing, so stop it.

He said, “You look good.”
I said, “I know. I do have a mirror.”

Do you know what else I loved about this book? Sandy is 31 years old, my age. We have very different lives, that’s true, but reading about someone my age is refreshing. Not the usual perfectly built teenager struggling with love. Don’t get me wrong, I love YA books but I need to read more books with people my age not really knowing what to do with themselves about their love lives or life in general. With these books I share some of their struggles and the romance shakes me with more intensity. I am your age and I also deserve someone giving me kisses and staring at me with lust in their eyes. It’s only fair.

Did I describe anything useful about this book? Maybe not, and perhaps that’s for the best because if I start writing about its beauty then I won’t be able to stop. That’s not a risk I’m willing to take so I recommend to read the book and enjoy it without knowing much about it. Read it in public, let people hear you laugh and wonder what the hell it is you are doing. Or you can read it like I did, inside a cocoon of pokemon sheets. There are no wrong choices.

firmablog