Until You by T.J. Klune

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5stars

“It’s the gay love story of the ages. Boy meets boy, boy hits boy with his car, boy and boy get married.”

Title: Until You
Author: T.J. Klune
Good things about this book: It is perfect!
Bad things about this book: Too short and you will miss the characters.
Do I recommend it? Yes, it’s the conclusion of the perfect trilogy.
Rate: 5/5

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

The perfect wedding for the perfect couple in the perfect conclusion to the perfect book series. I’m just so happy I decided to read it. I knew I was going to do it but the covers were keeping me from doing it. I thank rebel me for going against rational and aesthetic me. I will be forever thankful. Also T.J. Klune, oh my, that man writes books I enjoy from the bottom of my heart. I have never laughed so much reading books like I do when I read something by Mr. Klune.

This book is shorter, at least by a half, than the two prequels, it doesn’t have drama, it’s hilarious, it has all the characters you love, it will make you cry, and it will make you desire a love like Paul and Vince’s. They are so perfect for each other it hurts and it’s a little bit gross; they are really cheesy. And domestic. They have a domestic kink and it’s hilarious.

“You don’t have a gun,” Sandy said, rolling his eyes.
“Vince bought a nail gun,” I said. “We’re tool owners because we’re men and we do construction projects on stuff.”

Darren and Sandy are as flirty and in love as ever. They fight all the time just to start eating their faces off soon after that. Aw, the romance! Corey/Kori has a little crush and I just want to know if their story is going to be told in the future, near future if possible. Daddy Charlie has found love in a very weird place and he’s blushing and he’s so nervous it’s adorable. The family is still the best family in the whole world: isn’t Nana the best? The answer is and always will be yes.

“What’s gay-guy stuff?” Vince asked before I could stop him.
“Oh,” Nana said. “You know. Living happily. Having nice taste. Keeping a clean home. Being successful and kind. Hosting classy dinner parties with watercress sandwiches and dry martinis. Living and laughing and loving each other.”
“Aw, Nana,” I said, surprised.
“Also butt stuff,” Nana said. “Lots and lots of butt stuff.”
“And there it is,” I said.

The wedding is upon them and they are finishing the last things before the big day. The bachelor party is one the one event that will be remembered for generations. Oh boy, Sexy Paul dancing his gay anthem? Epic! That party was source of so many tears from too much laughing. I certainly didn’t see that coming. This morning I sang Paul’s anthem at work like there’s no tomorrow. That album was also part of my generation; I could relate.

Our guests gasped again, like the drama queens they were. They acted like they’d never been to a gay wedding before where one groom launched himself at the other groom. Amateurs.

There were also happy tears during the wedding vows. I knew I was going to cry because love makes me cry. I’m a romantic. Those words hit me right in my heart and they made me so happy. They felt true and perfect and they described Paul and Vince’s love story fully. I just love those two and I will miss them so much.

“They can see you, they can see the sarcasm. They can see your sass. But I don’t think they can see your heart, your perfect, fierce heart like I can.”

Do I have a hole inside me now that this series is over? Yes, I do. Am I sad? Completely. Will I start making choices asking myself first “what would Paul/Sandy do”? Probably.
They changed me. I feel better now that I got to know them. Fictional BFFs confirmed!

I would rather have melted cheese in my mouth than a smaller waist any day of the week.

Yes, Paul, I totally agree with you!

firmablog

The Queen & the Homo Jock King by T.J. Klune

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5stars

“Thin line between love and hate and blah, blah, blah.”

Title: The Queen & the Homo Jock King
Author: T.J. Klune
Good things about this book: It is adorable and everyone is lovely. Also BRITNEY!
Bad things about this book: Nothing.
Do I recommend it? Yes, everyone should read it.
Rate: 5/5

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

Don’t ever let a book cover decide its readability! Never! Well, read the summary first, also see the ratings and maybe read one or two non-spoilery reviews, but NO, don’t refuse to give a book a chance because its cover is, I’ll just say it, kind of ugly. I have found myself in love with books with questioning covers and my reading life has been better ever since.

In the first book of this wonderful series Paul was the main character, Sandy the sidekick bff and Vince the love interest. In this equally wonderful sequel, Sandy is the main character, the sidekicks are just so many and Darren, the Homo Jock King is the love interest. Not just any love interest but Sandy’s all time nemesis.

“He was going to convince Darren to dress like Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys for Halloween.”
“My greatest weakness,” I breathed.

We finally find out why Sandy hates Darren so much and how much of that hate it’s only the sexual tension everyone seems to have noticed. We see a lot of Sandy but also a lot of Helena, his drag queen alter ego and it is glorious. Helena says whatever she wants to say. She is bitchy, sassy and purrs quite a lot. Sandy and Helena might share the same body but they’re definitely not the same person even if Helena likes to come out to play often when Sandy is around.

“This is totally what happened. You just aren’t remembering right. Probably one too many hits on the head from when you were playing Ultimate Frisbee or whatever it is homo jocks do when they congregate.”

Sandy think of Darren as his enemy for reasons we now know and their bickering, more like mating ritual, is a thing of beauty. Sandy insulting Darren about him being a stereotypical jock with a twink obsession and giving his friends the most random fake names (Xerxes???) is something I will put in a special drawer inside my brain to take out when I’m feeling sad. I was as surprised as Sandy to see how much cuddly and adorable Darren was underneath all those layers of chest hair and muscles. Behind that smirk there is a New Kids on the Block fanboy and a ninja turtle husband and that makes him a keeper.

“As you can see,” I said into the microphone, “Darren’s loneliness is killing him.”
“No it’s not!” he said, loud enough for the microphone to pick it up.
“And he must confess that he still believes.”

I have 4 pages of quotes of this book. FOUR. This book has the kind of humour I love: I haven’t laughed this much for any other author ever. I can picture this book perfectly as a movie; you don’t even have to adapt it, it’s perfect just the way it is. Chapter after chapter the story takes shape inside your head and the characters become part of your soul. I love each one of them, even Santiago the slutty waiter. Each character is deep, real, and relatable; it could be you, it could be me, it could be your neighbor. Well, not MY neighbor, the hipster singer/pianist wannabe who likes to go out shoeless and shirtless with a guitar because, his words not mine, “people deserve to hear my music and be happy”. No, dear, nobody is happy with your music and your kid, poor soul, cries almost every time you start singing, so stop it.

He said, “You look good.”
I said, “I know. I do have a mirror.”

Do you know what else I loved about this book? Sandy is 31 years old, my age. We have very different lives, that’s true, but reading about someone my age is refreshing. Not the usual perfectly built teenager struggling with love. Don’t get me wrong, I love YA books but I need to read more books with people my age not really knowing what to do with themselves about their love lives or life in general. With these books I share some of their struggles and the romance shakes me with more intensity. I am your age and I also deserve someone giving me kisses and staring at me with lust in their eyes. It’s only fair.

Did I describe anything useful about this book? Maybe not, and perhaps that’s for the best because if I start writing about its beauty then I won’t be able to stop. That’s not a risk I’m willing to take so I recommend to read the book and enjoy it without knowing much about it. Read it in public, let people hear you laugh and wonder what the hell it is you are doing. Or you can read it like I did, inside a cocoon of pokemon sheets. There are no wrong choices.

firmablog

Tell Me It’s Real by T.J. Klune

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5stars

“Because sometimes it’s about letting go of what your mind tells you and following what your heart shows you instead. That’s how you know it will always be real.”

Title: Tell Me It’s Real
Author: T.J. Klune
Good things about this book: The randomness and sweetness of the characters.
Bad things about this book: The unnecessary sexism.
Do I recommend it? Yes, I will recommend it to everyone.
Rate: 5/5

Read the summary and add this book on Goodreads: here

I think it’s time to build this man, the amazing T.J. Klune, a statue meant for worshipping and human sacrifices. This is my third book by him and it’s a third 5-star review. All well deserved. This man gets me; he just really gets me! He can really write comedy books and I love him for that. I just feel so happy from start to finish when I read whatever he writes. How can a person be so funny? Funny in a way it may not be liked by everybody but it’s certainly loved by yours truly.

Most of the time when you hear stories like the one you’re about to, the narrator is this perfect specimen of man, whether he knows it or not.

Again, like with all the others reviews by this wonderful man, there are too many quotes to quote and not enough space to quote them all. Still, there are going to be tons of them. I’m not even remotely sorry. Enjoy.

“I’m not really the meet-people type. I’m more the… Quasimodo in the bell tower kind of guy.”

Paul is a chubby sinnamon roll. Yes, sinnamon because he has way too many dirty thoughts. He is like a perv angel. He has an extremely low self-esteem and tons of body issues because of his weight. He doesn’t see how beautiful he truly is because he spends his time comparing himself to every single other men on the planet. He obviously sees only perfectly fit specimens and it’s not healthy for his brain. He likes eating and there’s nothing wrong with that. He needs to see how everyone else sees him: a beautiful, sassy, funny, and beautiful guy who deserves all the love in the world.

I have blue eyes and I could tell you that they’re the color of ice that covers a frozen lake in the Himalayas, but that wouldn’t be exactly true.

I pictured him like David Fynn from the super funny tv show, that sadly and unfairly ended, called Undateable. Picture him without the beard. Isn’t he the perfect Paul? He’s adorable!

Paul’s best friend is the wonderful Sandy. He is like a brother to him and sees how perfect he is and hates how he whines about the way he looks, like he is never going to be good enough for anybody. I love Sandy with all my heart and I’m so happy he is going to be the main character of the second book of this series. Sandy has a drag queen alter ego called Helena Handbasket who is a mighty diva everyone is and should be afraid of (and in love with, of course!). She can be scary and is super protective of Paul. As Helena, she is fierce and has everyone at her feet. As Sandy, he is a regular guy, a little bit too skinny and wise as an owl.

“You’re like a dirty Dr. Seuss.”
“I’ll do you on the grass. I’ll do you during mass.”

I still don’t have a perfect fancast image for him and definitely don’t know how to picture Helena. I will think harder about them and come with great fancasts. I’m sure of it. Just wait.

“Anyway, he would have died had I not done the hemorrhoid maneuver.”
“Heimlich. It’s Heimlich.”

Vince comes like an unexpected knight with dimples to die for and he turns Paul’s life upside down. He has a crush on Paul immediately. He saw him from far away and he knew he was the one he wanted to be with. He just knew he was the one destined to be his other half. Vince is not the sharpest tool in the shed but he is honest, kind, full of love, adorable and when he wants something badly, he does everything in his power to get it. That’s how hard he pursued our Paul who thought he was Freddie Prinze Junioring him!! Yes, I have seen She’s all that many times and not once I thought Vince was doing that. He was so sincere from the beginning. His happiness every time Paul was being Paul was the sweetest thing I have ever pictured in my head. I get why Paul thought it couldn’t be true a man like him could be interested in someone like himself, being handsome, fit and having everyone all heart eyed everywhere he went. Paul, let him love you! Vince is also pretty naughty and has a butt that deserves all the awards. They are a great couple! (Also, great butt love quotes. Trust a butt lover!!)

“The Holy Grail of asses. If we lived in a world with fairies and elves, there would be epic quests to go get that ass. I wanted to bite it.”

He was so fucking happy to see me that it almost knocked me flat. I didn’t think I’d ever had anyone look at me like that. It was disconcerting. It was terrifying. It was fucking awesome.

When they say dimples I picture him almost immediately as Eddie Cibrian when he was younger. Give him darker eyes and he’s the one and only Vince. Hot and dreamy. Oh yeah he is.

His grin widened. Dimplepalooza. Dimplefest. Dimplenator 3000.

The review is obviously not completed without mentioning Paul’s two legged dog called Wheels and his amazing family. His parents are a hilarious pair, straightforward and, luckily for Paul, really open-minded. They are over sharers and I think that’s incredible! The conversations they have, oh my, I’m still laughing my butt off. Paul’s nana Gigi is a one of a kind lady, saying everything that comes to mind and giggling when her homophobic parrot makes fun of Paul for being gay. That’s a family nobody should ever be ashamed to introduce to a lover. That’s a family everyone will certainly love.

I love this book so much that I’m almost going to let the flaws go. Almost!! There were a little too many mentions of how having feelings and blushing was a thing girls do and that it was dumb. Having a vagina is not a weakness, people, not now not ever. If you are able to express your feelings and embrace your flaws there’s strength in you people that make fun of you clearly envy. Never think it’s girly to cry, to blush, to have deep feelings and be happy about silly things. Come on, it’s time for those absurdities to be over. Am I right?

LOVE LOVE LOVE. So much love for this and I recommend it to you and you, and also you that seem to be having doubts. I think everyone would enjoy this story about self-acceptance, love and family.

Did I already mention how much I love T.J. Klune?? Read what he wrote at the beginning of this book. Just read it. He’s precious.

If you have ever been told that you’re not skinny enough, smart enough, straight enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, masculine enough, or any other “enough” that made you feel less than you actually are, then, man, do I have something to tell you: this one is for you because you are perfect just the way you are.

firmablog